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This past spring, in combat training before my deployment to Afghanistan, someone found out I was gay, walked up to me and said, "I'm glad I'm not deploying with you, I wouldn't trust a fag with my life." This despite the fact I was one of the better marksmen and performers in my class. That's not to say everyone in the military is supportive. Pensacola will always hold a place in my heart for changing me in the way it did.Īfter I came over that final hurdle, I began to live openly, and my life as a gay man flourished. While I did lose a few friends, the ones closest to me became even closer, because I no longer had to lie about who I was and for the first time they knew what was really going on in my life. The reactions started coming in and, to my relief and surprise, they were overwhelmingly positive. I was alone at the time and in tears, and I decided to come clean - yes, I'm gay, I told them. I realized my biggest fear had come to fruition. One of my friends had been going through my Instagram photos and found one of me with another guy on the back of my motorcycle. My heart pounding, I pulled over to the side of the road. "Curnick, are you gay? Don't lie to us," said another. It was the phone in my pocket, buzzing with Instagram messages. I suddenly felt a lot of vibrations and it wasn't a bumpy road. I was on a high, riding my motorcycle back to base after spending the night with a guy I seeing. 'expansion of changing conceptions of masculinity in contemporary culture.In April 2015, I was heading back to my quarters at the naval base in Pensacola, Fla. As Mic's Jared Keller wrote in a piece about affection in male friendships for Pacific Standard, quoting a recent study in British journal Men and Masculinities , "Ninety-eight percent of the heterosexual men interviewed had shared a bed with another man, while 93 percent had cuddled or spooned with one, evidence of.
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I think we need to chill out."Īmerican millennial culture has in many ways embraced the sentiment these guys expressed in the rise of the " bromance" culture. "The only guy I was ever attracted to was Justin Timberlake - and I don't know Justin Timberlake," one bearded-bro said at the beginning of the video. Another adds: "I don't think it's a big deal. Post-kiss, the six guys really think the whole thing was no big deal: "He's just my buddy. It's really significant to take stock of the guys' reactions after the "first-time" experience.
#STRAIGHT BUDDIES FIRST TIME GAY VIDEOS SERIES#
It's the same form of latent homophobia that drives buddy or teen comedies, from the American Pie film series to anything James Franco and Seth Rogen do for attention, including remaking Kanye's " Bound 2" music video.īecause the video hinges on the cultural sentiment of internalized homophobia to draw views, the well-intentioned message gets lost in the mix. That's the problem with this video: Part of the shock and appeal of this video, and a large reason why it was produced, was to play upon cultural homophobia in America - where, unlike in many European cultures, it is not common for two male friends to hold hands or affectionately peck each other on the cheek or lips. Most guys expressed indifference - "I don't think it's going to be that crazy, to be honest" - which could be either a sign of liberal tolerance of same-sex intimacy between two men, or it could be a masculine expression of "playing it cool" so to not expose one's homosexual panic about kissing another man. Before kissing, all the bros explain their feelings about the imminent kiss.